I haz a cereal named afur me!!

I yam a true Star!!

Remembrance Day

My Honey Bear,

I miss you everyday. My heart is still in pieces since you left. You are part my heart, the part that still chokes me up and brings me to tears every time I think of you, see your photo or talk to you. Thank you for helping me with our new Gidget. Teaching her how to trust and not be so afraid. 

Thank you for being my best friend for all those years. Thank you for all the love you gave me and all the trust you had in me to take care of you. I miss hugging you and kissing you. I miss pulling you close to me when I wake up in the middle of the night and you are there next to me.

I hope you are happy where you are up there where ever you are. I hope the big guy Steve is taking good care of you and that he is hugging you and kissing you for me. I can't wait till I get to see you again someday.

All my love my beautiful baby girl,

Your Mommie

Mommie gotted a noo furrend

Growing Up Gidget

Mommie gotted a noo kitteh furrend.  Mommie wuz furry lonely and wuz furry sad and missin me and missin a kitteh to talk to.

Baby Pictures

I found these in a photo album, predates digital camera

LoveIsLove

My dream

She came up on the bed first and was translucent, i could see her but I could see through her and then she went over by the closet door by the window so I got up and picked her up and hugged her and told her that I love her and I miss her.  And she talked to me in a very distinct out load voice, a voice that I have never heard before, I had to move her away in my arms to look at her mouth to see if her mouth was moving, but she was "thought" talking to me. a mile a minute.  telling me that she was OK, she is fine and there was green grass, and she was free of her sick body,  and that she loves me and she knows that I love her.   She was more of a younger version of herself physically, very hyper and full of energy. 
Then I woke up very quickly and thanked her out loud for visiting me. 

I spoke to the animal communicator later that same day in the evening.  She said Honey was very proud of her self and proud of me that we made such great contact in the dream.  The animal communicator said is it very rare that when animal souls visit that they actually talk.

See you in my dreams

Honey came to me in my dreams last night.  It healed my heart a little.  I got to hug her and tell her that I love her and I miss her.

Thank you all for your kind words

It is so lonely and quiet here without my girl.  My sorrow is beyond words.

Her passing was very peaceful and beautiful.  She was so brave.

Song to see you through

Song to See You Through

Honey Sunshine haz left da building

Honey went to the rainbow bridge about 5:20 pm today.  She was wrapped up in 2 of her favorite plush blankets on a sofa in a private office at the Arden Animal Hospital, our regular vet, while I was rubbing her head.  She was my BFFF.  It was very hard but it was the right time.  I am heartbroken.

Honey, I hope you are running and jumping now and eating everything in sight.  I love you.

Please remember my girl as healthy and slightly plump and sassy like she was before all this bad stuff happened.

Honey sez today iz da day to say gudbye

i wunts no more yuckies an no more stabbies, i yam dun..........jus kiss me gudbye

Update

I don't know what to write anymore.  One day I think everything could be alright and the next day I'm not so sure.

She had her one week recheck.  Her numbers where slightly higher than when she came home, she came home with a  creatinine of 2.9 and it is now 3.2.  She has a kidney infection leading to possible CRF.  The antibiotics make her nauseous and give diarrhea so she does not eat much.  She has another recheck next Monday.  She is still on IV fluids, this morning was a failure but yesterday I did good at it, I will try again later.  They only other antibiotic that would work has a rare side effect of blindness, so we are sticking with the clavamox and some anti-diarrhea.  The kidney issue produces excess stomach acid, she has generic pepcid to take but they are pills and she won't take them so I crush them into her food, which she does not eat much of.

I am so disappointed is the lack of advances in feline veterinary medicine.   When I expressed this to the vet, she said yes, canine medicine is far advanced than feline.  why is that?  Cats live way longer than dogs for the most part.  Makes me want to go into Veterinary medical research, but I'm too old to start that now, if only I had know then what I know now.

This morning I was ready to let her go, but I did some research this morning.  The kidney infection is slow to heal because there is not alot of blood circulation for the kidneys and medicine is hard to get to the kidneys so it takes along time on antibiotic.  Also, she could live quite along time, months to even years, even tho her creatinine level is elevated.   I am lining up a mobile vet just in case for when I will need it so Honey can die at home and not at the crazy vet office.

Does anyone out there have any experience with this?

i hadded a gud day today

cept mommie keeps pokin me an gitten water all ofur me an squirten yuckie stuff down my froat

Ups and downs

The early morning started out with her eating then throwing up and diarrhea.  Then all the meds and fluid, then naps.  Then an episode of light seizure like thing from hyper tension, followed by more fluids and a call to the doctor.  Seems her reassessment is to be in a week not 2 weeks, the girls messed up, so maybe Tuesday now.  She had some probiotics for the diarehea and is resting.

It's very touch and go, i will let her decide when the time is but I won't be rushing her to the ER or the hospital anymore, too much stress and too much false hope.

Doing a little better today

still fragile but eating and sleeping good, haven't got to IV her yet today cause she keeps going back to sleep in the cave I made for her on the bed.  But boy is she snugly,  climbing into my lap while I'm working and wanting hugs.

She is home

well.....this is a deep subject.  We came home yesterday around 4pm.  Honey had to case the joint for several hours before settling down.  I was almost thinking that she had been gone so long that she didn't remember that she lived here.

I ran to the grocery store while she was wandering around, i came home 20 minutes later to find the internet modem on the floor in the bedroom.  Seems that she somehow got tangled in the wires that are behind a fake plant and unplugged the modem and pulled it down to the floor from the dresser.  I don't know if it hit her, thank dog that it is made of plastic.  She was hiding in the closet so i grabbed her and cuddled her.  She has never even gone near these wires before.

things are very touch and go... she didn't eat or drink anything last nite.  she came up in the middle of the night and snuggled with me.  I think I've been awake since 2 am.  I work from about 5:30 am till 3 pm, I'm working from home now.

This morning I got her antibiotic into her and the appetite stimulant.  Then later I got her IV fluids into her.  She is eating and drinking.  She is very skinny and wobbly.  I couldn't get the pepcid into her, the doctor still thinks she is having stomach issues too, nothing really defined here.

We have 2 weeks of all these meds then a reassessment as to whether she is gaining weight, if her kidney levels hold stable numbers and if she ever decides to eat without medicine.

She didn't get a lot of rest in the hospital, there were noisy dogs whining everywhere.

Today's Update

creatinine level 2.9 from 3.2 yesterday, can come home tomorrow or day after.  She will be on special diet and IV fluids and appetite stimulants if she doesn't eat properly. 

She wouldn't eat when I was there today at noon but it was very noisy in there.

Sunday Update

her number are continuing to come down, 3.2 from 3.8 yesterday.  she ate food off of my finger and also ate food from the dish when i put it in front of her. she still will be in the hospital for at least 2 more days.  Look at how cute my baby is.

update

Her marker numbers are coming down but she is still not eating.  The doctor says he feels that her kidneys are not hurting like they were.  I visited at noon today and they put us in a room so Honey could wander around.  She seems to be acting like she feels a little better. Her creatinine level was 3.8 today down from 4.9, still needs to be down closer to 2.0

Hospital Visit

I feel better after visiting Honey.  I met the doctor today and he is hopeful that it's a kidney infection, fingers crossed.  They will retest her levels tomorrow to see if there is any progress in her kidney levels.  She would not purr for me but she has some attitude and her tail was flicking cause there was noise in there and a dog was whining.  I can visit her tonight again at 7pm.  That's her blanket I brought from home for her, I slept with it last night so it would smell like me.